Sunday, January 4, 2009

Mujer Secreta


As if written by Eugenia: Inside these pages I feel safe with my thoughts. But out there in the world, I am raw. My husband Gustavo’s violence is a reflection of his painful insecurities, and I am vulnerable because I am the gentle lamb and he is the wolf.
I somehow feel responsible, taking on his failures as my own. I know that the harsh hand of his mother Carlota has carved his destiny, and José Manuel’s ruinous ambitions only make things worse. When I can bear the pain no more, rescue comes to me, but my savior becomes my jailer. Escape is an agonizing dilemma. By leaving, I could be free of one sentence, but then I’d become trapped in another.
How do I regain the poetry of life in the wake of my deep sadness? I have a secret that I share only with Bernardo, in my dreams; we walk hand in hand, reaching for the happiness that only a life of love with him can fulfill.
I know that within his arms lie safety and protection, but our union is forbidden. Being with him seems nearly impossible now, yet no matter what, he is always in my heart. I trust that as time passes, the universe will bless and enlighten me. And then one day, I will reclaim my soul for the purest purpose of all – living inside the realm of Bernardo’s love.

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